"Why should men marry?"
asks my colleague J.
He says after marriage, men are in a lose-lose situation. If the wife stays, she ends up ruling your life and making you live as per her standards, if she leaves, she turns you into a pauper, leaves after looting you of your wealth. Apart from the free house keeping (it's cheaper to get a maid) and sex(ahem, which you don't get a lot of anyway after you are married), marriage offers nothing to men according to him.
As for kids, he believes people should do this planet a favour, not increase the population more than what it is and he can't appreciate India and China enough for restricting the number of children one can have.
I didn't know what to say! I dared not to use words like 'love', 'emotional security', 'companionship'. Like they say, a fool's question sometimes can't be answered by a 100 wise men, or is it the other way in this case?
So guys out there, do you agree with J and girls, help me out here please!
PS: I have to admit, I sometimes do wonder should anybody - man or a woman - get married at all? Isn't being in love enough?
PPS: J is unmarried, has no kids, no girlfriend in the present and above 50 years old
One of my chennai friend wrote this long back..
i do agree with you office fellow.and what aparnas chennai friend says. i have decided not to marry at all.if a girl is ready to come along without marriage its fine enough.its like she doesnt trust you to stay loyal over the whole course.free
The chennai friend who has written it is a 'she' (FYI)!
i made that out.hardly any guy studies sociology in chennai.free
you know, i think on the same lines...not why men shud marry, but as to why anyone shud...and kids, well, i agree with your friend sorta ;-)...why increase population :D..
Never thought this deeply abt stuff...:P But then in the short run he does have a valid point...on the other hand a person who is single that long, is unmarried, is deprived of companionship. You might say that if he has friends and family the person will have companions yada yada. will they be around all the while? again though marriage is a committment from both the parties and one is kinda tied down. Each side of the coin i suppose has its own pros and comes with its own baggage...:D
Hmm..for most part I guess it’s society, it’s rules, our conditioning that makes us think about getting married in the form you described in your post. But looking at it another way isn’t marriage about your conformation of faith in the love for the other person and a reaffirmation of your relationship.
I think marriage is a name given to the pledge of two people to spend their life together, through the good and through the bad, through the laughs and through the tears, when everyone else might leave you alone. Society, government have added laws, rules of behavior around the word which people might or might not agree to, but that is not marriage. That is the not the terms I see my marriage in, may be because I never see it in terms of getting over. For me it’s about my commitment, not in front of God, people, around the fire, but to myself and to him.
@apu, soin - u 2 have only confused me more
@titaxy - our thoughts are mirror images in this case!
@viswa - what a sensible comment!
@comfy - u brought back hopes girl! thankssss
Well, ur friend apparently has never been married or never has had kids - Who the hell is he to pass judgment on something he has never done or had?
What u can do is, give him one tight slap!
Maramande..
@Dee - :-) maramande for sure!
slapping him would cost me my job! so I'll be happy to mentally slap him for sure
so I take it that you too are pro marriage ha... very reassuring to know :-)
sensible comment or a senseless comment? :P
sensible viswa, very sensible :)
wotever...
Well, I am not pro anything.. I just think for him to judge something he has never experienced is wrong..
See, for me marriage has been fabulous.. I got married at 23 and I keep thinking, I should have done sooner, that fabulous!! But for a woman who is repressed or abused, marriage may not be something she would recommend to all..
To each his own, thats all I am saying :)
true Dee... I somehow noticed that men bitch about marriage a lot more than women. never quite understood why...
as if a woman do not bitch about their man with other women :P