They say, If a shoe fits, buy it. I rather agree not. If I could put a penny aside every time I see a woman trying to strut in her brand new shiny pair of shoes but only struts a dignified limp! Ladies, don't you walk in the new shoes before you buy them? Why torture yourselves in the name of style? The shoe fits you, your leg looks great but your awkward balancing feat is quite a head turner for all the wrong reasons...

And what is it with wearing a strapless and keep pulling the dress up every 10 seconds? If you are so self conscious, you probably should not have put yourself through the predicament at all! Or if the dress is not meant for your figure and you fear a 'wardrobe malfunction', its recycle-time honey...

I started to write a comment on DiDo's post, realized it became too long, so decided to convert it to a post.

One of my friends, quite modern and outgoing met me after her recent break up. The reason was, the guy thought after 4 years that they could not marry and be happy, so he decided to part ways. I asked her if it was because he wanted a joint family. Her answer was shocking!

"I would any day settle for a joint family. In fact I will  insist that the guy's parents live with us. Do you really think cooking and taking care of kids is something that suits my image? I am going to work after marriage, even if I am not ambitious..."

I kinda understood why any guy would see a marriage not working with this attitude.

Its all wrong and messed up people! Parents have a life(even if its a boring one). It is not OK to expect them to be unpaid nannies of your children and do the dirty work. On the other hand, parents are wrong to hold their children responsible in any way to take care of them as a way of expressing gratitude, returning favours,  or as a matter of duty.

When did the word 'duty' substitute the word 'love' when it comes to family ties? Every relationship thrives on 'give and take' but not on keeping and settling accounts. Love can and should never expect anything in return. Joint family or nuclear, should be a collective decision which treats the feelings of everyone concerned fair and equal.

.....in an ideal world!

PS: These questions arise only in Indian culture...gah

An ant.

Well on my desk are - a black and shiny new computer with two 1280x1024 monitors, pencils, pens in 4 different colours, my lucky pen, a clean smart phone, notepads, personal bin and shredder, a fancy mug, a butterfly painting by my boss's 9year old, my iPod charger and some loose change.

Which is quite sufficient if not luxurious, I must say, to work.

But to idle away time(which I don't have anyway), vent out frustration, block all thoughts, I definitely need my buddy, the ant.

Play with it for long hours. stop it from going towards that small hole where it lives, make it fly by blowing air on it while it holds on tightly to the floor for its dear life, picking it up with a pencil and dropping it far away from its home to see if it can find its way back, create obstacles on its path by placing small objects, or better yet, making a snaky road for it with shoe laces, aaaaah the list goes on...

How well better would I feel after playing with the ant!

(Note: It is not a form of animal rights violation. I give the busy ant a nice roller-coaster ride in its otherwise boring, mundane life and I drop it at its home after all the fun!)

"We know you have a prick, you don't have to go ahead and BE one to prove it!"

Time is ticking
Life unfolds
With every tick
A moment it holds

Moments that came
And went away
Were some promising
Some leading astray

Some with mirth
And joys of love
Some with strife
With the stars above

Each holding colours
Oh so many!
Even cloudy greys
With cream and dark ebony

Each moment so precious
Cannot be revived
Each held a life in it
That was not merely survived!

Time is ticking
Life unfolds
A new faith, a new hope,
Each moment upholds...

I once went to meet my cousins Mini-8yrs and Tiny-4yrs when I was 14yrs old. I hugged and kissed Mini.

Tiny: (eyebrows raised) Why did you kiss her?
Me: 'Cause she is my darling sister just like you
Tiny: (with her 'I know it all expression')You should not kiss girls
Me: (shocked) Why???
Tiny: Girls can only kiss boys and boys can only kiss girls, don't you know?
Me: (am I awake?) Who taught you all this?
Tiny: Nobody teaches these things silly! You discover it yourself!
Me: (persistent) Did you see it on TV?
Tiny: No, not in this case

I am about to faint by now and my aunt walks in. I narrate to her all that has happened so far.

Aunt: Do you really think girls cannot kiss girls?
Tiny: Yes
Aunt: Now wont you kiss me baby?
Tiny: (confidently) No
Aunt: Who will kiss me then?
Tiny: (with a hint of dismissal) Your husband obviously, you wished for the neighbour or what???

I faint.

...Shaadi bina aasan hai jina!

If you are a girl in your 20s, finished studying or started working, you are fresh meat - for pesky relatives, neighbours, friends, in fact, the whole universe! Suddenly the goal of everyone around you is to get you a 'nice lad' and marry you off.

Parents are cool normally, they only get hyper when someone asks them about the marital status of their kid. And when they do get so hyper, heaven save us!

Relatives, the distant ones, are the most annoying when it comes to this topic. After years of listening to them without reacting or rebelling, I decided to be half as direct as them.

My ma's uncle, recently got his daughter (my mom's cousin and my aunt), 3 years younger than me (weird family birth timings), married through some marriage bureau. Apparently her subscription was for a year and she found a groom in 6months, so the uncle was prepared to give me the rest of the subscription for free! How generous... ek pe ek free. How am I supposed to react to this?

Me:Thank you but no thank you
Mind: Am I some kind of a consolation prize? Or someone pining for leftovers???
Uncle (insisted): If you look at her groom, you would say, 'Oh uncle, I want to marry someone exactly like him'!
Me: Well what can I say, she's a lucky girl!
Mind: I am 25 not 5, its her groom, not 'Dream Barbie' that I would like the exact one too!

A distant aunt (in fact she is so distant, that she is not even related to me) has a new found wish-
Aunt: You should marry soon
Me: God willing!
Mind: How can I get rid of her...
Aunt: Before I get old, I mean
Me: Well I thought I should get married before 'I' get old, when did you come in the picture???
Mind: Before you get old???Seriously, when did you last look in the mirror! Hmph!

Relatives are old, probably they lose their mind eventually. But what's wrong with friends who get married before you???

Friend1: You too should get married now, you know
Me: Hmmm when the right time comes
Mind: You know us, we are not ready yet
Friend1: Don't delay it, 5 out of our batch have already tied the knot
Me: Hmmmm
Mind: I didn't know we were competing

Friend2: So when are you giving me the good news?
Me: Chal natkhat, shaadi toh hone de
Mind: I thought 'good news' meant kids....
Friend2: Arre I am talking about shaadi
Me:Oh, well, when are you giving 'the good news'?
Mind: Just because some old women torture you with the same question in the context of a child, you don't have to do the same to your friends without any logic

Friend3:Mera shaadi fix hua, I have emailed you the guy's pic and details
Me: Oh! How wonderful! Congrats :)
Mind: She'll make a lovely bride
The good thought is broken by the next statement
Friend3: Marry next year at least, you'll get old otherwise
Me:(went offline)
Mind: Exfuckingcuse me!!! How dare you say that! £$%^&*

Give us a break! Parents, relatives, friends, even TV as pointed out by Aanya, there are better things to do in life. Why the sudden interest in family census? Think about population explosion for a change...